"They sat below Grand Central, in seats arranged to resemble a train carriage, passing through every major destination at once. This was the gate to everywhere."
Welcome to the 2nd installment of Rewriting Radiance, in which I delve deeper into my editing thoughts and processes. For this installment we're going to take a look at chapter 6, the first part of Yesod/Foundation, in which Virgo and Asher chat in Grand Central.
My most frequent comment, as I explained in part 1 of Rewriting, is to add more detail and depth. My style tends towards being overly terse and I often feel that passages need to be extended. Originals will be in italics major changes in bold.
See what I changed to these opening lines after the jump:
Showing posts with label cake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cake. Show all posts
Thursday, 7 March 2013
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