Chapter 16 of the Book of Josiah is probably the one that has caused me the most difficulties over the years, and this week is no exception. This version has been censored to make it more suitable for all audiences - the original is rather more explicit and I decided not to post it on my blog. If you want to see it, to get the full story of the Book of Josiah, contact me privately. I may also put it up in a final ebook.
“What the hell did you think you were doing?”
“I’m sorry? I thought I was saving your life!”
“What the hell were you doing?”
“I saved your life - what are you talking about?”
Amber shook her head in frustration, which just left Josiah even more confused and angry. He had risked his own life to help her reach safety and he had expected relief and maybe even some gratitude. She had just been shot in the leg - Josiah winced - but what was she so angry about?
But what about Duke? He had been acting strangely as well - giving him the cold shoulder, if such a thing should be said of a man that had just taken a bullet in the shoulder. The pun amused him and his anger cooled. If only Amber would be more reasonable.
“You really don’t know, do you?” Amber said, fiddling with her hands, then pushing back her hair; if she could have paced up and down the room she would have.
Josiah kept his tone level and measured, determined to bring the conversation to a reasonable debate. “No, I don’t know. Could you tell me?”
“Fine. Let me remind you, even if it was only a couple of hours ago,” she muttered something under her breath about short memories but Josiah decided to let the remark slide.
“We were in the station,” she continued, speaking slowly, as one would when telling off an infant, too young to realise that what they have done is wrong, “they had shot at us, we had shot at them, and we were nearly in the clear. I was in trouble, you helped me get out. Don’t think I’m not grateful. The way out was ahead of us. There was no one in the way. Our path was clear. With me so far?”
Josiah nodded, still no less confused - he knew what had happened next, that was when he had finally found the Plasma Inducer. He glanced down to the floor to check it was still there.
“That’s when you decided, in your infinite wisdom, to go back into the middle of the shooting and pick up some dumb piece of metal! Duke was shot through the shoulder because of your stupidity. He could have died! Didn’t you think about what you were doing? Do you still not understand? I almost lost you.”
Tears gathered in Amber’s eyes and Josiah finally understood. What had he been thinking? He wasn’t sure he had been thinking at all. It had been greed and he had allowed it to rule him in the name of science. But he had the Inducer now, didn’t he? And no one had died. Duke would heal soon. He couldn’t justify it. It had been stupid - stupid!
He saw that Amber was reading his face, watching the light dawn on him. He understood her frustration now, her anger that was born of fear. How could he have risked Amber for this object, no matter how significant it was?
“I don’t know what to say,” he mumbled. “I just didn’t think. I mean, with all the noise and the flashes and the smoke, I just didn’t think. I saw it lying there and thought I could just grab it. I didn’t think.”
“Obviously,” said Amber, managing a smile through the trickle of tears that gathered in her fiery eyes and spilled down her soft cheeks. “Just think next time,” she said, “I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
“I’m so sorry - can you forgive me? It was so stupid.”
“Yeah, I can forgive you but you ought to ask Duke as well.”
“I will,” he promised.
They sat in silence for a few moments, Josiah fidgeting out of guilt, Amber now calm.
Her tears had softened the angles of her face, and her calm smile had brightened the tears. Both of them were silent, and Josiah’s mind started to race again. He felt his pulse, louder and stronger.
Amber leaned closer, keeping eye contact. An almost hungry look coming over her. Almost without meaning to, he edged nearer.
“So what do we do now?” she said.
“I don’t want to go home.”
“Good. I don’t want you to leave.”
His lips found hers without his volition, and his eyes closed as he tasted her lips. Their tongues met voraciously. Josiah’s slid his hand onto her leg and slowly moved it up. Amber’s hand was on his waist reaching for his belt. Impatiently, savagely, he undid the buttons of her shirt and his hands met her skin - it burned like fire.
* * *
Somewhat dreamily, Josiah half-opened his eyes and reached out for Amber. Her skin was cool, her breathing deep and regular. He wondered what time it was and whether it really mattered before drifting off to sleep once more - a sleep entirely without dreams.
For no reason he could discern Josiah woke again. He guessed it must still be early, and not long after he had woken before but it was hard to judge - especially down here in the Deep. Fluorescent bulbs didn’t know the dawn.
And then Josiah realised that he was fully awake and would not be getting more sleep any time soon. What time was it?
He found a clock and discovered it was 7:35am. Not too early, though he wondered how many times he had woken during the night. At least once or twice. There was something about sleeping beside someone else, simple discomfort perhaps, or a certain vulnerability, that seemed to wake him every few hours.
Josiah looked over at Amber, still sleeping soundly in the other half of the bed, curled into something of a ball, facing away from him. Apart from a thin grey sheet she was naked, beautiful and sensual, even, or perhaps especially, in sleep. Josiah could feel himself getting aroused but he wouldn’t wake her. Perhaps she was having a wild and beautiful dream.
He sighed softly to himself, and wondered whether he could get out of bed without waking her up. The bed was double at least, and Amber was on the other side so maybe he could. No, not Amber, that was not her name. Strange how that was still the way he thought of her.
Ever so carefully and slowly, Josiah pulled back the sheets and edged himself out of the bed - one eye fixed on Amber. She tossed a little but didn’t seem to be waking.
Now he was out of bed, he felt a little silly being naked. He opened the door gingerly, terrified that it would creak, went into the other room and retrieved some articles of clothing. He felt a little better but could do with some coffee. He would wait a while and bring her some in bed, he decided.
He knew what he really wanted to do, what he had wanted to do since yesterday, and now he thought about it, the desire to begin immediately grew so strong that he couldn’t resist. It was still sitting by the wall, silently waiting for him.
With an anxious knot in his stomach, his head both full of excitement and terror, Josiah began to experiment with the plasma inducer, and quickly lost track of time.
* * *
He breathed her name “Amber...”
She paused for what seemed like an eternity - “no,” she said, “Ruchamah”.
“Ruchamah” he repeated back to her, whispering in her ear as he kissed it.
* * *
Josiah looked up and saw Amber standing in the doorway, dressed in a red, silk kimono, with embroidered cherry blossom down the sides. She looked half-asleep.
“Josiah,” she said, with a dopey sort of smile, “sleep well?”
“Very,” he replied emphatically, trying to put down the Inducer. He felt like he had just begun to discover what each part of it did and how it could help his machine. But there would soon be time enough. “What time is it?”
“Don’t know,” Amber replied, and yawned dramatically.
“I’ll make coffee,” Josiah offered, almost reluctantly setting aside the plasma inducer and moving to the Provider. “How’s the leg?”
“Not too bad. I wouldn’t want to run a kilometre or anything.”
Something about the way she gave her answer sounded distracted. “Are you alright?”
“What? Yeah, fine. Just a bit tired. How’s the coffee coming?”
“Nearly there.”
And then everything became a blur.
Out of the corner of his eye, Josiah thought he saw a dark shape pass in front of the window - he began to say something to Amber when he realised it had been a human shape, carrying a gun. He shouted a warning, knocked Amber to the ground, dived for his gun and came up shooting.
The quiet of the morning was torn apart by the blasts. The window shattered, hurling glass in all directions, Amber screamed in surprise and terror as another dark shape burst through the window.
There was no mistaking the cold black visor, the solid carapace armour, the sleek black guns - even without the cloaks they usually wore, Josiah knew he was looking at Circle Security. He had seen them far too many times. Once, many years ago, he had found their presence reassuring.
The officer was followed by another guard, both scanning the room with their sensors. Josiah had scant few moments before they realised where they were hiding and a syn-suede couch hardly provided the best of defences.
He gestured to Amber, who had regained her composure and somehow found herself a gun. She nodded and fired at the guards. The shot went wide but it gave them the distraction they needed as they headed for the nearby door. At precisely that moment, Josiah fired into the door ahead of them - the explosion splintered the wood and tore into the Security Guard on the other side. Still so predictable, he thought.
“Come on, we can make it,” he said to Amber urgently as they ran down the stairs. Damn! He had forgotten the plasma inducer. Could he go back? There was no way. This realisation was almost like physical pain but he had to get Amber out of here - they had to get out.
Desperately they charged down the steps, everything Josiah knew about Circle Security running through his mind - they operate in teams of five, will try to surround their prey - he had seen three, one was down but not out, two had come from the window, two more would be outside to provide cover.
Then he felt a stinging pain in his arm - what was that? He reached out to touch it. His hand came away wet and hot. Strange but he couldn’t stop.
Then the real pain hit him and he gritted his teeth, fighting down a scream. There was another guard! Josiah strained to lift his arm and fire before the Guard could adjust his aim but his arm refused to respond. Amber shrieked, slipped on the stairs and began to tumble. A flash of light sent a bullet screeching across the room and into the wall, exploding in a haze of blue - no hellfire bullets - what was this blue stuff? - but Josiah too was falling, his legs buckling as Amber collided with him and they tumbled together - a mass of legs and arms.
Rapid explosions of sapphire exploded above them, tracing an incandescent path along the dark wall. Josiah could barely see it - the stairs bumped and crashed into him - his arms, his back, his head - he couldn’t think. And then they hit the floor and somehow Josiah found himself flying towards the door, suddenly separate from Amber and totally powerless. She was lying in a heap, bare flesh scraped and bleeding through the kimono. She had lost her gun, he noticed, but then his head met the wood.
The next thing Josiah knew, he was lying on the street, his head in a pool of water. What was he doing here? What was going on? He tried to get up and found he couldn’t move his right arm at all. Somehow he rose to his feet. Why was the water red? And what was that noise?
People were screaming and shouting, someone was barrelling through the crowd towards him. He was on the streets of Camden. Behind him was what remained of the door of Amber’s bookshop, now lit only by slowly flickering flames. Where was Amber? No, no time. He was coming. Where was his gun? Too late.
Like a nightmare, the guard was suddenly upon him, featureless beneath his visor. He swung a punch, but clumsily, and Josiah managed to avoid the main thrust of it - it grazed the side of his head. Josiah staggered. Then the guard was on the floor. A passer-by grinned at Josiah - all flaming hair and bone-white teeth.
Like vultures on carrion, the flocks descended - bestial cries and shrieks of pleasure resounded through the street - the Deep had claimed a kill. Through the gathering throng, Josiah saw the body being stripped of boots, gun, helmet - he heard the cracking of bones. Where was the last guard?
Where was Amber?
He turned to go back to the shop and his heart froze. The books were burning, the house was aflame. Gouts of fire - red like roses, like blood, like hate - filled his vision and then he saw nothing more.
“If you are watching this video, then Amber is now in our hands, in the hands of the Circle. I won’t bore you with a long message - no clues, no plots, no revelations. You will come to the Circle alone. You will bring your machine with you. You will do all this tonight. Come to the back entrance. If you do not, Amber will suffer.
“If it’s any consolation, I’m sorry that it had to come to this but some things are inevitable. Regardless. It ends tonight.”
Josiah looked at the many screens in shock. He had found the disc back in his own room and had played it back on the security screens. Amber’s perfume still lingered on the air.
Lovecraft’s face, the face of a traitor, was frozen across a hundred screens, staring at him - a permanent mask.
* * *
“Don’t worry,” Amber whispered as they lay in bed, an odd smile on her lips, “it’s fine.”
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